THE WASHINGTON CAT BOX   ©

THE OBAMA TRAUMA

by Norman Liebmann

In Copenhagen the American liberals have managed to hang new titles on the authors of the Global Warming hoax. Al Gore is The Pied Piper of Panic and Barack Obama is The Cagliostro of Crap. In Copenhagen, also, the black Africans say they are just trying to survive – black Americans say they are trying to see to it that white America doesn’t.

The bad news about the melting ice caps - the polar bears are having trouble telling where their testicles end and the icicles begin.

Obama’s biggest accomplishment so far has been to restore the word “nigger” to respectability. If Obama is going to be sufficiently politically correct to invite back to New York the Arab assassins who planned the killing of 3000 Americans, I am not going to feel bad about anybody what calls him.

No matter how many millions the Obamas spend on their gala affairs, their parties always give the White House the ambience of a Palestinian refugee camp.

Obama is America’s Dudley Do Nothing. He believes nothing should be done for the first time - and if it should, it shouldn’t be now. The proverbial Negro in the woodpile is gone. The mulatto in the grotto rules. Obama didn’t close Camp Gitmo. He just shuttled the jihadis to a prison in Illinois. His idea of humane treatment is to just rotate the terrorists.

In Copenhagen they are already using a Danish/ Ebonics Dictionary. The blacks deserve no further special consideration. Martin Luther King has had his dream, and Rosa Parks has had her seat in the front of the bus. That should be enough.

(Irrespective of what Obama believes, black racism is not the cure for racism. For people who claim to be so victimized, you can’t turn on the television without seeing them singing and dancing.)

The Obama Image: Obama is dissipating his energies in the White House in his endless struggle to remain dapper, while his bride struggles to find a coiffure that is “up from the Afro”. Why doesn’t Michelle have the characteristic clenched hair characteristic of her race and how did it got that way? The Obamas drag their children along on international treks so that when they return they can brag to their schoolmates that they wet their panties in every country in the world and can recite The Pledge of Allegiance in Swahili. Some people opine the Obama issue are ideal candidates for retroactive abortion. (Do Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have a standing offer to the Obamas to adopt their children?)

Obama’s Aunt Ubangi (or whatever her name is) was put out because she wasn’t invited to accompany the Obamas to Copenhagen.  She could have put on a red dress and crashed the conference. In any event, Obama’s Nobel Pus Prize continues to ooze.

Heathen-care: Obama, the Voo Doo Doctor-in-Chief, wants to make his Obamacare non-denominational so henceforth all patients will receive black aspirins, and elderly Medicare patients will be obliged to use wrinkled enema bags.

Obama’s popularity keeps sinking. As the song goes, “Barack Hussein is going mainly down the drain”. Obama’s approval ratings are dropping – and the stench of those Obama droppings are everywhere. Remarkably it’s the people with the widest nostrils who seem the least able to smell it. This despite the fact that Obama has bailed out everything but The Titanic.

Apparently Obama has restored racism to an honored place in American society.

Bumper stickers are starting to show up on the nation’s highways that read,”Think White”.

Obama’s excuse for sending General McChrystal only 30,000 troops is that the other ten thousand he asked for won’t ship out until they learn to spell Afghanistan. In the meantime they could be used to civilize the natives in Chicago. Or is “that toddlin’ town” just about all toddled out. (Incidentally, will the gays in the military now insist on lace trim on their flak jackets?)

Barack Obama is telling the Republicans to stop scaring America. If he wants Americans to stop being frightened, he might call in a plastic surgeon and have him to take in a tuck in his ears. Incidentally, does Obama have his hair cut, or does he just have his scalp scraped? Don Imus must have a comment about that.

If Obama keeps treating Americans to these perpetual word enemas, they will have to fit his teleprompter with a nozzle. Someone should tell Obama to stay off television for a while. Even a flasher knows when he’s overexposed.

The Obama thugs have decided to use tolerance of barbarity as its measure of its own idea of civilization – which will ultimately be the measure of America’s will to survive.

After Obamacare kicks in, it will be a common sight to see orderlies out in the hospital parking lots using the bedpans for Frisbees. Why not call Obama’s Health Program by its proper name “Minority Care”?

The Obama Administration is going to compromise on the abortion issue. They’d give every woman a buttonhook and a hand mirror and let them work it out for themselves.

Tareq and Michaele Salahi did not crash the conference in Copenhagen. They were afraid the lady and Barney Frank would show up wearing the same frock.

(Barney Frank has made Massachusetts America’s cradle of crap.)

The designers make clothes for near-death anorexic models and sell them to big butt people like Michelle and Hillary. (Michelle’s Obama’s clamor for glamour continues. Her trip to Russia was said to be the second coming of Catherine the Creep. (Incidentally, how did Bill O’Reilly get so beguiled meeting Michelle Obama who has all the warmth and charm of a pile up of dikes in the roller derby?)

Obama has given Caucasians the blues. Who knew it was contagious?

ERIC HOLDER

If anybody can pull Obama’s Acorns out of the fire it is Attorney General Eric Holder. He is the current mad dog of political ill-will, the Rottweiler-General at the Department of Injustice. They should drop him and begin vetting  Moumar Ghadaffi.  At the least, Holder, the Caucasian-hating Head of the Department of Injustice, should have his title changed to The “Attitude General”.

Will Holder open the trial against the World Trade Center murderers by leading the defendants in “mooning” the Statue of Liberty? Why doesn’t Holder just move the WTC trial to Mecca?  Holder’s next move will be to propose the Mau Mau for a seat on the Security Council.

Attorney Venereal, Eric Holder says white people are too cowardly to discuss race. Let’s start a discussion with this. Tell the Acorns to go f--k themselves and see if that one will fly. Since the recent scandal involving their namesakes, Central Park squirrels have been puking up their acorns.

The Obama Administration’s blackness is deepening and taking America down into the abyss with it. The Democrats will always thrive in politics as long as they have access to the big bucks and the big blacks. They should rename Pennsylvania Avenue “Thieves Highway”. (Obama could stay in closer touch with his constituents by commuting between Africa and Attica.)

ADDENDA

The only exercise the average Muslim gets is those daily walks between the mosque and the rape room.

Prince William is going to share Queen Elizabeth’s duties. Apparently, Parliament is preparing the Prince for his royal duties by giving him the additional title Her Majesty’s Royal Sidekick.

Tony Blair has been turned down in his bid to become President of the European Community, Germany having decided they cannot take seriously a curly-haired, apple-cheeked Fuhrer.

Nancy Pelosi would make a great den mother for Jurassic Park. Incidentally,

how many obscene phone callers does Pelosi have on Hold at one time?

It is not the wrong war in the wrong place. We are just fighting it with the wrong weapons. America owns the mighty Wurlitzer of war machines. It’s time to pull out the stops.

This Christmas some San Franciscans will celebrate by exchanging AIDS viruses. It’s the thought that counts.

Democrats can’t tell a President from a primate. Obama barely squeezes into the either classification.

Affirmative Action is the nation’s way of credentializing crap artists. This program ordains that everyone has a right to go to college and be exposed to information they lack the capacity to absorb. These programs should be called Affirmative Ignorance.

The question is, which does America need more urgently – a war against Iran’s Ahmadinejad or the overthrow of Chicago’s Mayor Daley? Doubtless, The Windy City would be immeasurably improved by another fire.

As the saying goes in the world of journalism, "Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, issue me a press card. The Mainstream Press is now the Muckstream Mess. The media exists only for the dissemination of trivia. What a mission!

The Clintons turned The Democrat Party into the Tiffanys of Treason. I don’t want to wish Bubba any bad luck, but on his way to the cemetery I hope his hearse throws a wheel.

Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton may soon take on another historical inequity. They are smarting over the rumor that the slave barracks on plantations had “whites only” bathrooms.

Islam is the theological diarrhea that is infecting the Western world.

It would help it we abandon Political Correctness and just go back to calling people by the names they hate most.

Rosie O‘Donnell and her “wife” are getting a divorce. They finally realized it couldn’t be done with both of them on top. And along those lines, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins separated. The property settlement was amicable. He got the hammer and she got the sickle.

In Mexico the Breakfast of Champions is called Amnesty Flakes.

Floridians should not be allowed to vote. For them punching holes in cardboard is not politics - it’s therapy.

The United States Senate is a convention of Charles Dickens’ villains of which Joe Lieberman may decide to turn out to be another Fagin. The Senate should have a Traitors Gate like the Tower of London. (The Republican Senators are still groping around for a function they are not too cowardly to perform.)

Al Gore hopes the windmill will be the panacea to end the energy crisis.

Apparently he feels we should forget about oil and drill for air. Gore’s book should have been published in Ebonics and renamed in the inner city vernacular “An Inconvenient Troof”.

The only thing Copenhagen has succeeded in doing is disappointing the heathen. Historical note: Karl Marx was able to create socialism because he anticipated the greed and helplessness of an entire continent of underachievers.

The City of Houston has elected an openly gay Mayor. Hallmark doesn’t have a congratulations card for that. Interesting statistics: It is estimated there are 60,000 lesbians in Houston. Presumably there is another 60,000 dikes just passing through.

Christmas gift for the woman who just can’t wait - a Velcro chastity belt.

The way to stop the consumption of drugs is to convince people that cocaine is fattening.

A well-known bathroom products company is rumored to be working on a mouthwash that can eliminate a condition rampant in the inner cities called “ghetto breath”.

Benedict XVI has filled in some of the empty slots in sainthood – among them Pius XXII - Hitler’s favorite Pope.

With her gift for purple language Serena Wiilliams could do the play-by-play of Tiger Woods’ love life. Tiger’s main overreach could have been in trying to “get it on” with three broads at once in the back seat of a golf cart. This may inspire other golfers to enter their golf carts in the Indy 500. Gentlemen start your putt-putts.

After decades, all the feminists have to show for their efforts is Hillary Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, Michelle Obama, and “Miss Piggy". Dick Morris is not the only guy in America who realizes what a bitch Hillary Clinton is. But he brought that awareness to a new level of acuity. (Hillary still looks like she’s smuggling cinderblocks in her pants suit.)

For turning down unwanted invitations there is now an album out entitled “Music to Remember a Previous Engagement By”.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is showing people maps of San Francisco under water. The Gay Lesbian Parade would have to be rerouted under the Golden Gate Bridge. (It’s hard to believe the incomparable Joe DiMaggio grew up in San Francisco.)

In Iraq they are selling car bombs that will be sold only to operators who can prove they are safe drivers.

Harry Reid is blaming slavery on the Republicans. Does it mean they will get to keep the cotton?

Behind every President there is a washed up Hollywood movie star telling him he was on the wrong side during the Viet Nam War.

Al Gore is encouraging humanity to jump off the end of the world – as soon as he can determine where to put the diving board. Al Gore wants to stop people from exhaling in order to cut down on carbon emissions - at least from the front end.

Liberal journalists don't carry a press card. To gain entry to the White House they just have to show the guard at the gate their nipple rings.

Get rid of political correctness and the environment will clear up by itself.

It’s time to stop the Ivy League from dumping its robed and tasseled trash into the body politic. They aren’t helping. Coincidentally, Harvard and Hyannis Port are downwind of each other and both smell bad.

Jesse Jackson is still rattling on about color. Is this the home of the brave or a box of crayons?

Comedy and tragedy are played out on the same stage. It’s The U.S Senate.

Despite the much-advertised love affair of the Clintons, every time Bill enters their bedroom you can hear Hillary’s vagina snap shut. (Bill Clinton didn't leave a legacy, he left a stain.)

We are told the new “green” televisions lose clarity. Is that the good news or the bad news?

Martha Stewart says Sarah Palin is a dangerous person. This comes from America’s richest ex-convict. Joe Arpaio needs to keep her on a leash.

Before we had a global positioning device, it was enough to “call a spade a spade”. Political Correctness is the fun house mirror of common courtesy.

The assembled freak show in the White House would have made President Obama klatch the envy of Tod Browning.

How long will Americans sit around their televisions watching Barbara Walters trying to grow young gracefully?

NASA is America’s juke box in the sky – how long do we have to keep putting the money in this slot and hearing the same old tune?

The Democrats will always thrive in politics as long as they have access to the big bucks and the big blacks. They should rename Pennsylvania Avenue “Thieves Highway”. Obama could stay in closer touch with his constituents by commuting between Africa and Attica.

And this …

I don’t care what a person’s color is, as long as he’s not Barack Obama.

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